There is no denying the fact that our roads are full of idiots. Half of them step out with the lack of will to live and the other half with the lack of skill to ride. Thankfully I stay a bit outside the borders of Delhi which means the traffic isn’t as bad as the capital. However the volume of traffic is replaced by lunacy on roads. Whatever traffic is present is just another level of crazy. Riding my Royal Enfield Thunderbird for over a year in this mayhem, I have observed different kind of people. Here are some who stand out:
1- The How-can-you-be-faster-than-me
Some people really find it hard to accept that someone can go faster than them. These people will keep hovering at 60 kph all day long but if you go past them, they will keep hanging in your rear view mirror and will do anything possible on planet earth to go past, only to slow down again. Talk of going the mile to prove a point. Usually found on Pulsars and Platinas.
2- The adventure commuters
If you think that you need a dual sport machine to go off roading, think again. These 100cc heroes will put even Triumph Tiger to shame when it comes to taking on the rough surface. Even at the slightest hint of traffic, they switch from a GPS route to a compass route and ride away leaving everyone else in a cloud of dust. Usually found on Bajaj and Hero 100 cc motorcycles.
3- The honk-o-holes
These people love honking to kill boredom. Traffic moving slow, honk. Traffic light, honk. Trying to go wrong way, honk. Like the previous kind, these are the people who ride motorcycles out of misery and that is why they are found on the most generic motorcycles. Stop in front of them, turn around and they will step back two feet. But as soon as you start riding again, they will get back to business. Natural habitat is the same as above.
4- The Tata Nano LP38-2 drivers
Whenever I spot a Tata Nano, I either stay behind it or overtake with enough gap to squeeze in a Goldwing in between. These soapboxes are mostly driven by aunties in their 40s or uncles almost in their graves. In either case, it is safe to stay away because no matter how the crash happens, they can’t be at fault. Usually found in abundance in residential society markets.
5- The lane hoggers
These people refuse to acknowledge the fact that motorcycles can be faster than cars even on a highway. No matter how much you try, these people won’t leave the rightmost lane and won’t cross 70 kph. These are the same people who move to the extreme left lane and block the free left turn at a junction. Usually found in Altos, WagonRs and Santros.
6- The lane hungry
While almost the whole country skips the concept of lane driving, these people love the lanes. The love goes so far that they prefer driving not in one but two lanes at the same time. Usually found in popular Japanese cars like Suzuki Swift and Dzires.
7- The street light
Even the stupid drivers who don’t use low beam hate someone using high beam in the oncoming traffic. However there is another breed of humans that try to make up for the lack of street lights by putting all sort of luminous objects on their cars. Lights on roof, lights on bumpers, lights under the car. You name it and they have it. Usually found in anything that is big and popular. Scorpios, Safaris and Fortuners mostly.
I will keep updating this list as I spot more such legends on the city streets. Ride safe.